the second gift...

The Second Gift of Waiting: Loss of Control 

Loss of control teaches us to depend on one another. 

Loss of control allow us to surrender to grief. 

Loss of control teaches us resilience. 

"For those of us for whom staying in control is the ultimate achievement, loss of control seems like a perverse and rotten gift indeed. The release of control, though, can be an empowering spiritual step." (pg. 29)

"The loss....has taught us resilience. We have learned to let go of our anxiety and to be patient. We have become more flexible than we could have imagined.  There are many things we have learned to do without."  (pg. 36)

"When we are forced to wait- either through hard losses or through much-anticipated transitions- we, too, experience the dismantling of all that is familiar. While we wait, we often find ourselves out of control.  In fact, loss of control is a hallmark of waiting.  Loss of control can be terrifying; it can unhinge us as we lose sight of everything that is tidy and predictable.
Very gradually, thought, it becomes a little more bearable. First, we understand that we are not along and that we can ask for help. Second, we sit and come to grips with all that we have lost. Finally, we name and claim all that we have navigated and survived- and we can celebrate our resilience." (pg. 37)