April 2, 2014
I was at a lacrosse
game for Taylor a couple of weeks ago talking to the dad of one of Taylor’s
teammates. He happens to be a pulmonary doctor so I asked him if he could help
me understand what it is like for someone to have CF. He told me that it is like
breathing through a straw.
I’ve heard this before
but this time it stuck in my head, and I could not stop thinking about it. When
I went on a few training runs last week, I imagined what it would be like to
breathe through a straw and then decided that I would give it a shot this week
on one of my shorter runs.
So, I headed out the
door with a straw in hand when I took the kids to school this morning and
parked my car near some trails by UW (University of Washington) campus. I figured that I would not run
into that many people who would question my sanity for running with a straw
sticking out of my mouth.
I started with the
idea that I would run 4 miles breathing in and out through the straw, but as I ran
the first 5 minutes this way, I realized that this was not going to be a good
idea. I did not want to black out
from a lack of oxygen during this simulation so I compromised and set some
goals. I started with ten breaths
and then went to eleven, then to twelve, and so on until I got to twenty
breaths in and out through the straw.
I tried not to breathe through my nose during this time (which was funny
because I have a bit of a stuffy nose from spring allergies) so it sounded like
I was snoring sometimes while I was trying to breathe through the straw.
Oh my goodness, this selfie is not one I should be putting out there for the world to see...
(When Taylor saw this picture, he told me that he thought that it looked like I had a thermometer in my mouth or that I was smoking on my run. Ugg. Not a good sign...)
It was hard to find a
breathing rhythm as it took some concentration to exhale and inhale without
doing it too fast while trying to reach the goal of the number of breaths that
I was trying to reach during each interval. After each of
these intervals, I would take a DEEP breath and fill my lungs with air. It has
never felt so good. I’ve done simulations before like this- being blindfolded
for a period of time to imagine what it would be like to be blind, trying to
use sign language to imagine being deaf, using a wheelchair for part of a day
to put myself in someone’s place who is confined to a chair and to understand
accessibility concerns and issues, etc.
Today, my run brought CF closer to home and made me realize how much I
take for granted when I take each breath during a day without a second
thought.
gotta love the self-timer app.
Taylor saw this picture and tells me that I need to quit smoking on my runs.
slow but steady with a straw...
Jens, being that you
are my only friend whom I know who has CF, this is all new to me to really try
to understand what it is like. As I mentioned, I’ve heard this analogy
before about CF being like breathing through a straw. While I have tried to imagine what it is like to be breathing
at 16% lung capacity, I had never actually felt what it was like to run with
such a limited amount of breathing until today.
Jens, I marvel at the
way you take this in stride. And, Abby- while you yourself do not have CF, it
seems that there is so much on your plate right now that it must feel like you
too are breathing through a straw too. You both are trying to get enough
air to breathe, to tackle another day, to put one foot in front of the
other.
It made me pray hard
for you, Jens, for your new lungs.
I want so badly for you to be able to breathe effortlessly—without
breathing treatments and without being hooked up to oxygen. I so want you to be able to fill your
lungs with air, to take a deep breath with ease, and to live your life. And with God’s help, I know that’s possible.
I know in my heart of
hearts that with God, nothing is impossible.
I've heard it said before: " 'You don’t know the meaning of
the word “can’t”, do you?' Maybe I don’t. And you don’t. And God doesn’t
either." (inspired by another blog post I read about cystic fibrosis)
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