Elevation

This morning, Jason and I went for a run in the Missoula foothills today and my lungs were burning.  As were were climbing this hill, Jason said, "Blasted Elevation!" and it was so obvious that we were not in Seattle anymore. 

* Elevation for Seattle is 183 feet

* Elevation for Missoula is 3,209 feet

As we were running, Jason pointed to a spot and told me that we would turn around there. But when we got there, we could see a bit more to climb for a better view so he said, "Let's just go a little bit more.."  I was not too excited about more elevation at that point and felt like it was a bait and switch. :) But, off I went and got to our spot to turn around. 

Also, in my stream of consciousness way of thinking while I am running, 

I thought of this U2 song: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19KstSgU-c0

"Elevation"

High, higher than the sun
You shoot me from a gun
I need you to elevate me here

At the corner of your lips
As the orbit of your hips
Eclipse
You elevate my soul

I've got no self control
Been living like a mole now
Going down, excavation
I and I, in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

A star
Lit up like a cigar
Strung out like a guitar
Maybe you can educate my mind

Explain all these controls
Can't sing but I've got soul
The goal is elevation

A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation

I and I
In the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

Love
Lift me out of these blues
Won't you tell me something true
I believe in you

A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation

I and I
In the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

Elevation
Elevation
Elevation
Elevation

As my lungs were burning and as I was thinking about elevation, I was thinking and praying for you.  When you are feeling so high and loving the view OR when you are climbing and feeling the burning in your lungs (and wanting to strangle the neck of the person dragging you up the hill), may you keep holding each other's hands and know that God's love is behind and before you. 

I will be out of touch for a few days since we are headed deep into the woods for a backpack trip- I will be praying for you on the trail and will be in touch when we return next weekend. 

1. 
   
2. 
   

for Olaf...

Just wanted you to know that Anna played 

a soundtrack last night in her concert to go with your shirt. 

Enjoy! 

http://youtu.be/-9wZOWdX5YU

asking the right questions...

This post below is such a powerful one about asking better questions... I offer it to you two today in hopes that it will encourage you and give you some ideas for going deeper and loving each other well. 

SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

Jan 162014

When I was a mama of three very tiny, very messy, very beautiful rug rats, we had DAYS THAT WENT ON FOR LIFETIMES. Craig left at 6:00 am every morning and as I watched his showered, ironed self leave the house I felt incredibly blessed and thrilled to have so much time alone with my babies and incredibly terrified and bitter to have so much time alone with my babies. If you don’t believe that all of those feelings can exist at once- well, you’ve never been a parent to many tiny, messy, beautiful rug rats.

When Craig returned each day at 6:00 pm (he actually returned at 5:50 but took a STUNNINGLY LONG TIME TO GET THE MAIL) he’d walk through the door, smile, and say– “So! How was your day?”

This question was like a spotlight pointed directly at the  chasm between his experience of a “DAY” and my experience of a “DAY.”  How was my day?

The question would linger in the air for a moment while I stared at Craig and the baby shoved her hand in my mouth like they do –  while the oldest screamed MOMMY I NEED HELP POOING from the bathroom and the middle one cried in the corner because I NEVER EVER EVER let her drink the dishwasher detergent. NOT EVER EVEN ONCE, MOMMY!!! And I’d look down at my spaghetti stained pajama top, unwashed hair, and gorgeous baby on my hip – and my eyes would wander around the room, pausing to notice the toys peppering the floor and the kids’ stunning new art on the fridge . . .

And I’d want to say:

How was my day? Today has been a lifetime. It was the best of times and the worst of times. There were moments when my heart was so full I thought I might explode, and there were other moments when my senses were under such intense assault that I was CERTAIN I’d explode. I was both lonely and absolutely desperate to be alone. I was saturated- just BOMBARDED with touch and then the second I put down this baby I yearned to smell her sweet skin again. I was simultaneously bored out of my skull and completely overwhelmed with so much to do. Today was too much and not enough. It was loud and silent. It was brutal and beautiful. I was at my very best today and then, just a moment later, at my very worst. At 3:30 today I decided that we should adopt four more children, and then at 3:35 I decided that we should give up the kids we already have for adoption. Husband – when your day is completely and totally dependent upon the moods and needs and schedules of tiny, messy, beautiful rug rats your day is ALL OF THE THINGS and NONE OF THE THINGS, sometimes within the same three minute period. But I’m not complaining. This is not a complaint, so don’t try to FIX IT. I wouldn’t have my day Any.Other.Way. I’m just saying- it’s a hell of a hard thing to explain- an entire day with lots of babies.

But I’d be too tired to say all of that. So I’d just cry, or yell, or smile and say “fine,” and then hand the baby over and run to Target to wander aisles aimlessly, because that’s all I ever really wanted. But I’d be a little sad because love is about really being seen and known and I wasn’t being seen or known then. Everything was really hard to explain. It made me lonely.

So we went went to therapy, like we do.

Through therapy, we learned to ask each other better questions. We learned that if we really want to know our people, if we really care to know them – we need to ask them better questions and then really listen to their answers. We need to ask questions that carry along with them this message: “I’m not just checking the box here. I really care what you have to say and how you feel. I really want to know you.” If we don’t want throw away answers, we can’t ask throw away questions. A caring question is a key that will unlock a room inside the person you love.

So Craig and I don’t ask “how was your day?” anymore.  After a few years of practicing increasingly intimate question asking, now we find ourselves asking each other questions like these:

When did you feel loved today?

When did you feel lonely?

What did I do today that made you feel appreciated?

What did I say that made you feel unnoticed?

What can I do to help you right now?

I know. WEEEEEIRRD at first. But not after a while. Not any weirder than asking the same damn empty questions you’ve always asked that illicit the same damn empty answers you’ve always gotten.

And so now when our kids get home from school, we don’t  say: “How was your day?” Because they don’t know. Their day was lots of things.

Instead we ask:

How did you feel during your spelling test?

What did you say to the new girl when you all went out to recess?

Did you feel lonely at all today?

Where there any times you felt proud of yourself today?

 And I never ask my friends:  How are you? Because they don’t know either.

Instead I ask:

How is your mom’s chemo going?

How’d that conference with Ben’s teacher turn out?

What’s going really well with work right now?

Questions are like gifts – it’s the thought behind them that the receiver really FEELS. We have to know the receiver to give the right gift and to ask the right question. Generic gifts and questions are all right, but personal gifts and questions feel better. Love is specific, I think. It’s an art. The more attention and time you give to your questions, the more beautiful the answers become.

Life is a conversation. Make it a good one.

- See more at: http://momastery.com/blog/2014/01/16/save-relationships-ask-right-questions/#sthash.YDRBWt5i.dpuf

Mom Gear

Yesterday, I was running alongside Taylor as he was biking. We ran to the post office, to the bookstore and to Green Lake where I helped him practice swimming strokes and we had fun cooling off.

While going up hills, I came behind him as I have done before and pushed him up the steep parts.  We joked and called this the "Mom Gear".

Thinking of you as you call on each other for the "Abby Gear" or the "Jens Gear" when you need that extra push...

refuge of your love...

a few quotes that stood out to me from a reading the other morning that I wanted to pass on to you today...

• By the power of your sovereign goodness, reel in my wandering heart once again and send it into the glorious refuge of your love.  -Scotty Smith 

• Heavenly Father, I bow before you today, not floundering in my fears, but marinating in your mercies, not groveling in my guilt but growing in your grace...  -Scotty Smith 

wisdom from a squirrel...

Taylor and I read Flora and Ulysses last week.  It was so whimsical and random (as it is about a squirrel who had superhero powers and who could type poetry), but also it was a very moving book... Not sure if you have read it, Abby. (And Jens- we think it's worth a read even for someone who is not a 2nd grade teacher!) 

"It begins, as the best superhero stories do, with a tragic accident that has unexpected consequences.

The squirrel never saw the vacuum cleaner coming, but self-described cynic Flora Belle Buckman, who has read every issue of the comic book Terrible Things Can Happen to You!, is the just the right person to step in and save him. What neither can predict is that Ulysses (the squirrel) has been born anew, with powers of strength, flight, and misspelled poetry—and that Flora will be changed too, as she discovers the possibility of hope and the promise of a capacious heart." 

Anyway, I was reminded of the beauty of this quote in particular 

last night after a series of family events yesterday: 

“I promise to always turn back toward you,” 
― Kate DiCamillo, Flora and Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures

a few other favorite parts of the book to share: 

“Nothing

would be

easier without

you,

because you

are 

everything,

all of it-

sprinkles, quarks, giant

donuts, eggs sunny-side up-

you

are the ever-expanding

universe

to me.” 

― Kate DiCamillo, Flora and Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures

“So many miracles have not yet happened.” 

― Kate DiCamillo, Flora and Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures

“All things are possible. When I was a girl in Blundermeecen, the miraculous happened every day. Or every other day. Or every third day. Actually, sometimes it did not happen at all, even on the third day. But still, we expected it. You see what I'm saying? Even when it didn't happen, we were expecting it. We knew the miraculous would come.” 

― Kate DiCamillo, Flora and Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures

“When the other Dr. Meescham was alive and I could not sleep, do you know what he would do for me? This man would put on his slippers and he would go out into the kitchen and he would fix for me sardines and crackers. You know sardines? Little fishes in a can. He would put these little fishes onto crackers for me, and then I would hear him coming back down the hallway, carrying the sardines and humming, returning to me. Such tenderness. To have someone get out of bed and bring you little fishes and sit with you as you eat them in the dark of the night. To hum to you. This is love.” 

― Kate DiCamillo, Flora and Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures

may you both turn back toward one another today over and over again... 

Making Lemonade

We had a wonderful trip to Victoria biking and exploring B.C.  We biked 20 miles back to Sidney yesterday ready to get tickets for the ferry when we discovered that the Washington State ferry had been cancelled for the next 48 hours.  There had been an engine failure on one of the ferries so they had a shortage of vessels for the ferry routes.  And, since we were on our bikes, it was not as easy as driving another 4 miles to the Canadian ferry because it would take us to a town in Canada which was a 2 1/2 hour drive back to Anacortes where our car was.  We found a hotel where we could all crash and made countless calls to rental car companies trying to figure out our options.  We tried to see if we could go back to Victoria and catch a ferry to another town and then take a bus back home. 

Trains, plane, automobiles. 

Anna and Taylor were both teary as they felt the weight of the situation in the moment when we found out what happened, but after some hugs and a picnic dinner, we talked about how this was a perfect opportunity to make lemonade out of lemons. 

Our picnic dinner was absolutely beautiful with a view over the water over to Mt. Baker sparkling in the distance.  We had the gift of grandparents with us who graciously took care of the hotel room and the meals we needed to figure out. We got to stroll through a fun street market in Sidney last night on a beautiful summer evening.  Jason's parents had an amazing friend who came through with the offer to pick up our car in Anacortes and drive up to pick us up.  

I imagine that you all have millions of ways to make lemonade out of lemons each day. 

Sending some sugar your way to add to your mix...